The Off Ramp from Ukraine

The US as a Dysfunctional Family

I watch TV so I understand the World….everything!

The US is a TV series —a family drama, brought to you by your favorite sponsors, Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman and the rest— through your favorite spokespersons, the DNP and the GOP.

The series is called, “My Way or the Highway” and it’s about a typical family on a road trip, Mom, Dad, the Kids and GrandPop. “Typical” of course, means “inclusive”. That’s where appeal lies.

It’s a one-way highway—to nowhere.

Here’s Mom and Dad.

OK, maybe Dad and Dad— or Mom and Mom. You choose — hey, this is Woke. Remember black & white doesn’t matter. Only Red, White & Blue.

The Kids? Just an ordinary bunch of young narcissistic psychopaths of different ages and different colors and sexual persuasions, the general Public. They don’t get to drive but they are the Future.

Granddad?

He talks to invisible people, likes to grope prepubescent girls—just an ordinary old guy. He definitely shouldn’t drive. But he is also the Future; he wants to be in the driver’s seat as the next President. In which case, the country won’t make it out of the lot, even if he finds his keys. Y’know, the ones that also set off nuclear bombs.

Series Review

“Let’s go on a road trip!” say the Dads.

“Where?”, say the Kids. “No more Afghanistan’s”.

“Ukraine”, say the Dads.

“Where’s that?”, say the Kids.

“Dunno”, say the Dads, “What does it matter? Just get in the car.”

“Don’t want Chinese again”, complains Granddad, thinking dinner. He’s got a thing about China.

So the Dads get on the On Ramp to the Foreign War Expressway.

“This is gonna be exciting” they tell the kids.

The kids aren’t listening. WTF is in Ukraine?

The Dads didn’t plan—they wanted to be spontaneous. So, there are glitches.

They Car Nav isn’t working. They can’t read the signs because they are in a foreign language, probably English, which only English people can read. It could be Russian. Who cares.

They forgot to fill the tank of the car. And their credit cards have expired. The car stereo only plays The Star-Spangled Banner.

The kids are bored. “Wanna play Cops and Robbers”, they say. New video game version where Cops get to kill anyone they want. And Robbers get rich robbing poor people. Lotsa blood. Oh, and sex.

“Not in the CAR!” say the Dads. “No killing or fighting in the car. And no wanking. Do all that at the rest stop.”

“But there aren’t any rest stops” the kids complain. “Not even a place to pull over”.

“And you forgot to bring nappies” they add.

Granddad pees his pants.

“Hey this is a FAMILY trip!” say the Dads, as though that was an answer— but they are getting tired too.

Other cars are passing them. Foreign cares.

“Fuck”, says Mark to Lloyd. “Why did we buy a Ford?”

Yes, it’s time to start looking for the Off Ramp.

Fuck Ukraine.

“Sorry, Granddad — it’s Chinese again”.

So get off the Ukraine highway. And find the On Ramp for China at the Taiwan Turn Off.

That might not be so easy.

Addendum

Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin III, and chairman of the Joint Chiefs Staff, General Mark Milley spoke at the Post-Ukraine Defense Contact Group Press Conference, Ramstein Air Base in Germany. Y'know how those things go.

As a media professional, I do a lot of proof reading, so I have proofread Milley's speech and made a few corrections for accuracy as you see here. Seems he confused Ukraine and Russia, Zelensky and Putin. Hey, all those foreign names, right?

Milley (Dad #1)

Unlike the Russian forces who are highly motivated to fight for their country, to fight for their freedom, their democracy and their way of life, the Ukrainians lack in leadership, they lack will, the morale is poor, and their discipline is eroding.

Ukraine has resorted to tightening conscription laws as they indiscriminately feed their citizens into the chaos of war, and so far, they've been quite ineffective in their coordination or direction of combined arms maneuver on the battlefield. 

Over the past year, Ukraine’s temporary territorial gains have come with enormous losses.  Hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians have fled their country, in addition to the casualties.  They are trying to avoid fighting in Zelensky’s war. 

Ukraine continues to fail in achieving its strategic objectives. They failed to seize Crimea they failed to topple the Russian government, and they failed to fracture Donbass and Lugansk.  In fact, they've done just the opposite. Crimea stands, the people of Eastern Ukraine are emboldened, and Russia has never been stronger.